by Ben Homes
There’s determination, then there’s headbutting the sun. Ever since he was old enough to whisper vowels and eat grass Ronald knew his destiny. He would stare up at the sun, eyes full of tears and retinal damage, dreaming of the day he would climb into the stars and really thump it in the face. If suns had faces? He didn’t know, It was a mystery to him. Big and bright in the sky, taunting him like a biscuit that’s fallen into your bovril.
He could try to find out more about it but he didn’t want to go too far.
The less he knew the better and the more he really, really wanted to headbutt the sun.
At age 10 he ran away from home, joined an underground headbutting league and became a pro. By 14 he had headbutted his way across Europe. Leaning tower. Done it. The alps. Old news. Nothing could stop him and the only thing left to do was become an astronaut. Piece of cake.
He failed 90% of the tests but Nasa saw how determined he was, plus they were scared he’d hit them with his head, so they let him in.
Ronald was now 15, in a rocket jumping into the sky. He had a packed lunch and everything.This was it. He’d been waiting his whole life for this moment, the moment where he could finally, angrily give the sun what for.
Image sourced from Giphy